The Fix Is In... A Review of the American Music Awards

Back - Index - Submissions - - What is RSS? Date: Jan 13, 2099 Source: The Edmonton Sun Submitted By: The fix is in By MIKE ROSS -- Edmonton Sun It's useless to comment on who won at last night's American Music Awards - it was fixed. Don't get upset. I doubt that the votes of 20,000 "typical" record buyers were tampered with in any way, but if you put Shania Twain and Celine Dion in the same category as Will Smith, it's pretty obvious what happens. The vote gets split and our Canadian divas are out of the running faster than you can say "gettin' jiggy wit it." And so, not only did the actor/rapper waltz away with the favourite male soul/R&B singer and favourite soul/R&B album (curiously, Smith was absent from the rap/hip-hop category - which is what he actually does), but the coveted favourite rock/pop album award as well. Twain and Dion, going head to head in three categories, ended up with one measley award each. So much for the "battle of the divas." With precious few worthy moments to relieve the tedious three-hour telecast, the 26th annual American Music Awards was a crass, overdone, ego-inflated festival of self-congratulation that pandered to the lowest common demonimator of the American public. In other words, it's same as it always is. Just a bit more boring. There's nothing for it but yet another awards show of our own - the AMAs they never gave: THE 'N SINCERITY AWARD: R&B singer Monica and boy group 'N Sync presented the favourite country album award with a straight face. "I'm glad I didn't get asked to pick the best country album. It would've had to be all three," Monica bubbled. "That goes for us, too," one of the 'N Syncers piped up. Yeah, right. I'll bet these people all went home last night and line-danced to Alabama's Greatest Hits. WAS IT LIVE OR SYNCED? The Backstreet Boys put on a bewildering performance that made a mockery of being mobbed by hordes of screaming girls. It was made all the more bizarre by the fact that the video director seemed to be high on speed. Third Eye Blind's performance was likewise afflicted by epileptic fit inducing camera cuts. THE YES IT DOES GET OLD AWARD: Extending their all-time record, Alabama won its 22nd American Music Award for favourite country group last night - a result as predictable as the winner of the next Mike Tyson fight. "This never gets old," they told the crowd. New rule: when they hit 25 AMAs, no more. WHOSE COMEBACK WAS IT, ANYWAY?: With great fanfare, the original lineup of Blondie performed on television for the first time in 16 years, but instead of nostalgic Heart of Glass-like fare, the alleged song - the title track from Blondie's upcoming album, No Exit - was dominated by rappers, including the recently indicted Coolio. Debbie Harry herself played a small part in the proceedings, "rapping" more than she sang. Conclusion: rock 'n' roll is dead. DEVOLUTION AT WORK: Billy Joel was given the AMAs' special award of merit last night. Previous winners of this award include Ella Fitzgerald, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney. A cavalcade of stars butchering snippets of Billy Joel hits as a tribute provided some of the most dreadful musical moments of the evening. Said the grizzled piano man, "What a great job! ... Learning how to play an instrument was an award ... being able to make a living at it, that was another award ...being successful at it, that was another award. And now being recognized for it ... What a great job!" So if it's such a great job, why is he quitting the pop music game to play classical music? Which brings us to WORST MUSICAL MOMENT OF THE SHOW: There was plenty of out of tune singing - at least it wasn't all lip-synced - and I was just sharpening my pen for Blondie when K-Ci & Jo Jo and Next came on. These overrated singers made Al Green's classic song Love and Happiness into a cheap, soul-less showcase for showing off. It was truly awful. FUNNIEST JOKE: In full regalia (and to a few boos from the crowd) the members of KISS introduced the favourite pop/rock album award thus: "Nobody knows better than we do what goes into making a great album." KISS was not nominated for an American Music Award last night, but the band is up for a Grammy. FUNNIEST JOKE THAT WAS TOO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH: The Dixie Chicks, one of the best things to happen to country music in a long time, won the favourite new country artist award and thanked "our make-up artists and hair stylists - because that's what it's all about!" SECOND BEST MUSICAL MOMENT: Superstars Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks delivered a performance that lived up to the title of the song: It's a Powerful Thing. Conclusion: country music isn't dead after all. BEST MUSICAL MOMENT: Pop music's most celebrated new couple - Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach - delivered a tasteful performance from their album Painted From Memory. They stood out like a sore thumb from the rest of the broadcast in the process. I kept thinking Coolio would bust in at any moment. IT COULD ONLY HAPPEN ON THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS: Donny & Marie saying: "Ladies and gentlemen: Chaka Khan and Method Man!" Comment on this item. Recent Comments Submitted by: johnanz http://imrdsoacha.gov.co/silvitra-120mg-qrms Comment on this item. Next Item: Transcript of the Boys' interview on ABC's the View (July & December '98) Prev Item: Reviews of the AMA's by Backstreet.Net Readers