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Submitted by Menaa Ahino from Singapore
Date: Thu May 16 06:53:41 2002
Thoughts What ifs are questions
I ask myself everyday
Every single day
Of my life just seems like
A question mark to me
Sometimes I wonder,
If what I am is what
I truely claim to be
Sometimes I wonder
If life is nothing
But just a lie
What if that was true?
That what I had been
Living was just a lie?
That the people
I claim to be the most important
Are just a lie
What if I had
Just made them up?
Making them my whole life
Why couldn't life have taken another path?
I wonder if I'd ever change
Sometimes I look at them
And feel nothing
Other times, I look at them
And see strangers
Would I
Willingly lose my life for them
Or for once,
Think about it twice?
Do all the things I say or do
Make sense?
Or is everything just a lie?
I feel confused
Not knowing the answer
Which once
I felt so certain of
What if I had just lied
About them being there for me
Making up the whole being of me
I wonder if that was true
Claiming that they helped me
Pull through
Did they really do that?
Or was it just a lie?
I feel like I've been lying all my life
Just lying every single time
I look at them,
look into their eyes
And wonder if
What they do for me
Is what I claim it is
What if every single time
I tried to kill myself
Was nothing
But an attempt to kill my soul
That I want to die so much
Yet not being able to
How is it possible that
I torture my outer self
Just to destroy my inner one?
And what if one day
I wake up dead
And no one cares?
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