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Submitted by Amber from Quincy Illinois USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:33:00 2001
Name: Alexander James McLean
Age: 23
Birthdate: January 9th, 1978...Statistics, statistics. That's all those are. Behind all of that lies a true person with feelings and emotions and beliefs, problems and trials and errors, just like the rest of us. You are human, only human, and it is time for us, the fans, to realize that. I keep typing and I keep erasing what I type, so I'm just going to start over... I love you. There, that's a good enough start as any, right? Well let's continue, then. I respect you. I cherish you. I love you. Now we're back to the beginning again. I can say so much more than this, so much more. I read over what others have to say and I realize that my own writing will be lost within theirs as within these words lies the same message. We are with you, as you have been with us. As you are hurting, Alexander James McLean, so we all are hurting. Depression isn't easy to fight, believe me, I've tried. It's a bitch. Sometimes you feel yourself falling and you have nothing to cling to, you're by yourself in the dark, falling, falling... and you keep falling. But soon enough, AJ, you'll hit rock bottom. And you may not see this as a good thing, but try to. Because... after you hit rock bottom... there's no other place to go but up. So get back on your feet, dust yourself off and climb the ladder that will lead you away from depression and alcoholism. You have the strength believe in yourself. We believe in you. Remember that you are not alone; you are never alone. You have thousands of fans all over the world shaken up by your confession. Tears have been shed in your name, and prayers have been said much the same. And if none of this helps then remember the most important thing of all... You still have God. If you cannot trust in yourself, or us, or even your brothers... trust in God. He will guide you out of the black whole. He's holding his hand out to you... all you have to do is take a hold. So Alex, in closure of this long letter, I just want to say that you are in my prayers, in all of our prayers, and we hope that you will make, not a quick recovery, but a complete one. May god be with you through your time of strife, and remember that we are here as well. If you want to reach me, you can at AmberBSB@Rnet.com. No, I am not trying to get you to talk to me. But I know how depressin works and sometimes talking to those you know, doesn't help at all, but makes you feel like a burden. We are with you every step of the way. From 1 - 10, recover completely. I love you. You're in my heart, my mind, and my soul. God bless you A.J. McLean, as he blessed you into my life... With devotion and love,
Amber
Submitted by Kim from Palos Park Illinois USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:29:27 2001
AJ,
Let me start off by saying that whatever you have to go through, your fans will be there for you no matter what. We LOVE you and we always will. You have touched the hearts of so many millions of people. There is no way we would ever give up on you. When I was watching MTV news last night and heard about what happened, I was about to cry. Realizing that you have problems and deciding to get help proves that you have a lot of courage. So many people care about you so much and believe in you to overcome your obstacles. I promise that I will pray every night for you. I believe in you so much that I can't even put in words.God bless you AJ.
Love Always,
Kim
Submitted by Maria Zazueta McLean from San Manuel Arizona USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:27:43 2001
A.J.,
If you ever read this, I want you to know how much I love you. You are the best thing in my life. I feel like I know you, and because of those feelings I am hurting so much inside. When I heard the news on TRL, I was crushed. I cried so hard. My whole family was in shock, they looked at me and they started crying too. All day you're in my head, I can't get you out. Everytime I think about you I cry. I feel like a part of me is missing, but then I remember how strong you are, and your a very determined man, and your going to get through this. Your the reason I am what I am today.
I look at you and see how free spirited you are, and thats just one of the many reason why you've captured my heart. I look up to you and admire the way you came about your illness. You didn't try to hide it, you were true and for that I will always love you.
Words cannot express what I feel right now, people tell me "how can you sry if you don't even know him?" And I tell them "I do know him. Maybe not physically, but mentally and spiritually I know him, and he is going to gt through this."
You have already won A.J., because you admitted you had a problem, and want to deal with it. I gave up drinking last week and your the reason why I'm going to stick with my promise. Once again you've inspired me to do something.
A.J. I want you to never feel alone...I'll always be here for you and so will the millions of other fans. I'll support you in everything you do. We're never going to stop loving you, okay, I want you to know this, because whenever your lonely, we're here for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and also with your mom. People are forgetting that your as hurt as him. Denise...Ms. McLean, your son is so wonderful, I'm sure you know this, and I love him with all my heart, and it eases me knowing he has you, such a wonderful person right by his side. And I thank you too.
Brian, Howie, Kevin, Nick-This is for you... Thank you for being there for A.J. and not leaving him on his own. You guys are beautiful and I love you too. You guys are his brothers and you showed true love for him on TRL... I'll be praying for you guys.
A.J., I'll be thinking of you every minute of every day....Not a moment will go by that I won't be praying for your well-being...You've done so much for me and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart...GOD BLESS...GET WELL SOON...I'LL BE MISSING YOU...
UNTIL THE NEXT SONG. I'LL SEE YOU KIDS IN THE MOVIES...THIS IS MARIA SAYING GOODBYE AND GOD BLESS! PEACE!!
SEE YA SOON. BE COOL,BE REAL, AND BEHAVE!!!
Submitted by Stephanie from Sacramento California USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:22:58 2001
I am very sad at the news of A.J. being so unhappy but at the same time I am very proud of him wanting to fix this problem and I respect him and the other Backstreet Boys sooo much for being so mature and wanting to let their fans know about this. I know this must be very hard for him and his brothers to go through, and A.J., Brian, Nick, Kevin, Howie, and all of their friends and family will be in my prayers until A.J. gets better. I have a lot of faith that he can get better and it really doesn't matter about the rest of the tour, definetly the most important thing right now is A.J.'s health and safety. So A.J. really needs to take as long as he needs to get better and all the guys need to keep the faith that he will get better and you all will continue to be in my prayers.
love Steph
Submitted by Brenda from Albertville MN USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:16:52 2001
AJ,
When I heard the news from the other guys... I couldn't stop crying! And I still can't... I love you, and want the best for you. I'm REALLY proud of you for coming out like that and *WANTING* help. You're only going to get better if you want it. So hang in there bud! We don't want anything for you BUT that! I really hope you get better, I really do. And I believe in you AJ. That's why I'm a fan, and always will be a fan no matter what happens. We know you can get through this. luvBRENDA *BSB Fans Rock!*
Submitted by Karie from Marceline MO USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:14:22 2001
AJ,
I think what you did was great. You are a great guy and I'm behind you and support you every step of the way. I'm praying for you everyday and I know God will take good care of you. Be strong.
You can get through this with all the love and support you have from everybody. Take care and God bless. Love ya!
Karie
Submitted by * Amber Lynn Davis * from East Liverpool Ohio USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:12:50 2001
* I Am Soo Happy That Aj Is Seeking Treatment On His Depression..* I Just Seen Him In Concert On June 26th..I Never Would Have Guessed That He Was Depressed..* Maybe Because He Loves His Fans And Music Soo Much...* It Really Is A Great Thing What He Is Doing..And Im Happy With The Help From The Former Band Members, Media And Most Of All The Fans..!* I Watched The Other 4 Members Discuss His Illness With John Norris On Mtv And I Seen How Emotional It Was For Them To Discuss It And It Just Broke My Heart..!* I Seen Nick Carter Start Crying And I Lost It..I Started Crying Soo Bad...Its The Saddest Thing I Have Seen In A Long Time..* I Hope He Gets Better Soon..And Everything Is Back To Normal..* I Know What Its Like To Lose A Loved One..I Lost My Grandfather To Cancer On Fathers Day Of '99...I Know It Hard..I Just Hope He Can Overcome All Of This And Go Back To His Normal Happy Self..* I Love The Backstreet Boys Soo Much..* And I Have Gained Even More Respect For Them Than I Did Before..* They Are The Best Group And They Know How To Keep It Real With Their Fans..* They Dont Hide Anything..* THATS A TRUE GROUP RIGHT THERE...!* And Im Happy He Has Shared His Story With Everyone And Didnt Hide It..And Im Very Happy That He Admitted He Had A Problem..!* I Haope Its All Cleared Away Soon...!* KTBPA..* I Love Ya Aj...!* Get Well Soon..!* Get back Out There And Do What You Love To Do Most...Sing And See Your Fans And Be With Your Guys..!* And For The Rest Of The Group...* Keep Supporting Aj...* And You Guys Are Doing A Wonderful Job At Everything I Love You All And Esp To Nick Carter...When You Cried Talkin' Bout Everything I Came To Tears..Hang In There Hunnie Everything Will Be Ok..I Hope You And Your Hand Gets Better Soon Babe..I Love Ya Sweetheart....!* Love Always...* Amber Lynn *
Submitted by Dana from Hayward CA USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:10:44 2001
All I can say is that IM so proud to be a fan of the most honest guys in the world! It took a lot to come forward with this news and I thank each one of the BackStreet Boys for being who they are. As far as AJ and what he is going through... We are all human and have ups and downs we must get through... Prayer is a very powerful thing, we all need this in our lifes to help us. I pray for AJ to get through this as easy as possible and I pray for his family and loved ones during this difficult time. May God Bless and be with them all always. I ask that everyone who reads this please keep the BackStreet Boys and their families in your prayers.
Thank you and God Bless you.
KTBSPA!!!!!
Dana Moreira-Hayward CA
Submitted by Marissa from Las Vegas Nevada USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:10:13 2001
~AJ~: I just want to let you know that I love you so much and I have so much hope for you. You have done something that alot of other people couldn't do and for that I give you my love. I have been a fan of BSB since the starting day and I will continue to be the best one out there! Don't give up and try your hardest because you are AJ and you can do anything! All of us fans are right behind you every step of the way and we hope after these 30 days you will walk out and be 110% stronger! We can't wait till your return. To the other BSB members: You guys are so AMAZING to come out to us fans like this. You guys are earning so much respect right now. Stay by AJ's side and he WILL get through this with the help of you guys (his brothers and tightest friends), his family ( HEY Denise Stay strong), and us the FANS! Come on fans good job in getting BSB back at #1 on TRL today now lets keep it that way these 30 days. NSYNC fans are not even as close to them as we are to BSB! KTBPA always and forever Here's a rose for AJ: @~)~~~~~ Love, Marissa PS Nick if you are reading this you don't know how bad I wish I was in New York Monday just seeing your face like that and you sheding tears made me cry! BYE and I hope to see you guys as a group on August 17th here in Las Vegas
Submitted by Holly from Louisville Kentucky USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:08:59 2001
I am veary proud of A.J. for admitting he has a problem and is willing to get help. Back in 1999 i saw them in concert the day after thanksgiving, that year i was thankfull for them going to see them has been a dream of mine for years and it finely happend. I am just thankfull that A.J. is willing to get help it is not his fault and i admire the group even more for personaly telling there fans and staying by his side. I've seen him on stage that is his life when he is not on the stage he goes crazy. Having his fans,friends,family and his job of entertaning people as a goal to get his 30 days of rehab done will help him to get it done. A.J. your in my heart and my prayers keep your spirts up your TRUE fans will be with you till this is over with. A.J. we love you and pray for you. good luck and keep us in your hearts.
Submitted by Laura from Ashburn Virginia USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:08:56 2001
A.J.
You are truly admired for being such a great soul to realize that you do have a problem and need help. All of us fans just want you to get better and for you to realize that we all love you. You are such a great man and soul and we fans will love you no matter what. We love ya...
KTBSPA
get well..
love,
Laura
Submitted by Agnes from Beijing China
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:08:22 2001
To be strong AJ!Everybody's praying here.We'll give you the strength to get well.Everything is gonna be ok,I believe it.See you soon boy.
Submitted by * Amber Lynn Davis * from East Liverpool Ohio USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:08:00 2001
* I Am Soo Happy That Aj Is Seeking Treatment On His Depression..* I Just Seen Him In Concert On June 26th..I Never Would Have Guessed That He Was Depressed..* Maybe Because He Loves His Fans And Music Soo Much...* It Really Is A Great Thing What He Is Doing..And Im Happy With The Help From The Former Band Members, Media And Most Of All The Fans..!* I Watched The Other 4 Members Discuss His Illness With John Norris On Mtv And I Seen How Emotional It Was For Them To Discuss It And It Just Broke My Heart..!* I Seen Nick Carter Start Crying And I Lost It..I Started Crying Soo Bad...Its The Saddest Thing I Have Seen In A Long Time..* I Hope He Gets Better Soon..And Everything Is Back To Normal..* I Know What Its Like To Lose A Loved One..I Lost My Grandfather To Cancer On Fathers Day Of '99...I Know It Hard..I Just Hope He Can Overcome All Of This And Go Back To His Normal Happy Self..* I Love The Backstreet Boys Soo Much..* And I Have Gained Even More Respect For Them Than I Did Before..* They Are The Best Group And They Know How To Keep It Real With Their Fans..* They Dont Hide Anything..* THATS A TRUE GROUP RIGHT THERE...!* And Im Happy He Has Shared His Story With Everyone And Didnt Hide It..And Im Very Happy That He Admitted He Had A Problem..!* I Haope Its All Cleared Away Soon...!* KTBPA..* I Love Ya Aj...!* Get Well Soon..!* Get back Out There And Do What You Love To Do Most...Sing And See Your Fans And Be With Your Guys..!* And For The Rest Of The Group...* Keep Supporting Aj...* And You Guys Are Doing A Wonderful Job At Everything..I Love You All..!* Love Always...* Amber Lynn *
Submitted by Joey from Detroit Michigan USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:06:57 2001
I am manic depressive, and my mental illness was triggered with my best friend's diagnosis with leukemia last August. I am on medications, including the stigmatized prozac, and have been on a rollercoaster of my own with alcohol and fortunately very limited drug use in the past, prior to getting help. My friend passed away after an eight month battle with the disease in April, around the same time she and I were supposed to graduate with degrees in English from college. One thing I have to admit you have on your side is your passion for writing and poetry. I have learned to use my own love of writing to help me in some very dire emotional states. The loss of someone you love is tragic, and at the same time you must find the strength and courage to cherish that person's life, to celebrate it, and to carry on with them by your side. I grieve every single day at the loss of my best friend. I have learned to cry alone, to let out the emotion and to get on with my life in the positive manner I know she would have wanted. It makes absolutely no sense for a twenty-two year old to have been taken so soon, still does that make it any less easy for you to lose your Grandmother whom you knew even better than I knew my friend? No, it doesn't--but it makes it very easy for me to relate to your loss of someone so important and of someone who had such an impact on your life. A friend wrote this quotation for me when I was struggling, and I think it's fitting to pass on. "There will always be pain in our lives: the pain of not understanding. The pain of missed dreams. The pain of broken relationships. There are alternatives to pain. We can smother it with being busy, with work, with alcohol, other drugs and repression. We can abuse others with it. We can abuse ourselves. Or we can do our homework, understand the mechanism of the trap we are caught in, and learn enough to spring it." Have faith in yourself, as you are obviously a very talented individual with an amazing amount of support to help you get through this. Come away from this with the desire to help the many others in this world who struggle with depression, which is the reason I am sending this message, one you will probably never receive. Still, in knowing I passed along this message of understanding--I will be a bit more at peace.
Submitted by Jen from Florida USA
Date: Wed Jul 11 02:04:59 2001
Dear AJ,
Hey there! First off, I want to say I'm very proud of you..admitting you have a problem is the first step!! Thank you for being honest with us!!
When I heard the news from my friend Carrie (who came to work to tell me!) I was in total disbelief! Then I thought about it..it was all in that last Rolling Stone article..the downhill spiral. I've cried the last 2 days thinking about the pain you're in because it's something I understand I've suffered from depression since I lost my best friend 2 years ago! I've always loved you guys because you're music has gotten me through..whenever I was sad I'd listen to you guys and think about the positive..espcially SMTMOBL! Even though I don't know you my heart aches for you and the pain you are going through and I just want you to know I'm praying for you!! You seem like a genuinely good person and strong..I know you'll beat this!! Good luck darlin!! We all love you so much and hope the best for you!!
Also, to the other BSB hang in there and thanks for the honesty!! Nick's tears brought me to tears..the concern and love you guys feel for AJ is so touching and heartwarming!!
I love you all!
Love always, Jen
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