Submitted by Alyda Szalai from Cserszegtomaj Hungary
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:52:35 2001
A.J. ,
I don't wanna write down my life story but I have to say something.
This story is not a tale. It's true and if You don't want to belive it, well... just do it. But I swear by the Book that it's true.
I was born in 1982. I have my birthday today, and the most beautiful gift for me is that
your mom said You feel You're safe.
All I can say that I'm proud of You. Really.
You have to do a really big thing for Yourself, I know. I know what means the depression and the feeling of the fear of loneliness. So many people asked themselves: "What is the reason of your depression ?" They don't know what means the life with inertness . You wake up early morning and You work and work and work... But the life don't go about it only. For some people the money is the happiness, but they can't appreciate the LIFE. They're all alone with themselves and with theirs money.
When I was 4, my mom and dad got divorce. But I'm 19 years old and I grew up without him. Now, in my age of the start of 20th I know what is the loneliness. All in my life I looked for somebody who has a same personality like mine. But the life isn't so simply as it seems.
A.J., I don't know how to tell it, but...OK.
If I write it to You , maybe You'll came over your cares easier.
For months together I fell from a party to another. I just drank and drank ... 'Cause I felt myself so lonely and I didn't want to quit. When I'm drunk I felt like I have no problems and no cares, but next day, when I'm waking up in my room, I saw myself in the mirror, I said : There are so many problems and I MUST NOT HIDE FROM THESE THINGS ! But came the night and I was incapable of quit. And the things went on like this for days, for weeks, for months. The only thing what helped me just a little, it was the sense in my mind that somewhere , somebody is waiting for me, and I must not take from Him the chance so He met me someday. But ! When I heard that You're under a treatment, I came to know: I must quit the destroyer life what I live and I have to change. And from yesterday I changed. Thank You , A.J. ! Your power, your faith, your valor were my teachers.
I haven't self-control , but I know people can reach theirs dreams if they want it from heart. And this is the thing what You have to do. You can find Yourself just You have to look for. I know someday your 'twin' will come up and She'll change your life at one blow. I know You belive in the Real Love what overcomes everything, and please belive in Yourself too.
You helped me, and I just want to help You.
Only one thing: if sometimes you feel like there is nobody for You , there is no one like You, who knows You, who cares You, who loves You like You need, think about a little coutry, what is so far from You, and think about God, pray for Him and You'll see: Even so there is. In a little while She'll knock on your door, You'll just have to open it.
Take care of your Mother, 'cause She's a great mom, and She loves You as far as possible.
OK.
LOOOOOK AFTER YOURSELF !
Thank You ...
Denise,
Thank You for your support 'cause A.J.'s life is so important to me. Thank You for your love what You've given to Him. I think You're an awesome mom, and...
I love You.
And after all...
I wanna say thanks for You, Guys:
Kevin, Nick, Brian, Howie and for
Everybody who loves Him.
Alyda
Cserszegtomaj-H
Ibolya u 17
8372
HUNGARY
07/12/2001 11:37 p.m.
Submitted by ¤...§£L£N£...¤ from Tuxtla Gutiérrez Chiapas Mexico
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:51:43 2001
Hi!! A.J I want say that u are very important for us, i Know that u can do it!! U can be Strong!! Please, I need u, all the nights I say a pray for u! Byeee =) ;).
Submitted by Katie from Middletown NJ USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:51:36 2001
AJ: I wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and the rest of the guys. You're in my prayers and thoughts as well as my family's. I am glad that you realized your problem and are getting help. I think that what you are doing took a lot of courage. I think that people can look up to you even more now. I want to wish you the best of luck. I know this is something you will be dealing with for the rest of your life. AJ, you'll always be in my thoughts and prayers even after I see you again in Sept. "Time, look where we are and what we've been through..." You be able to get through it if you just give it up to God as my Mom would say.
Love Always
Katie
KTBSPA!
Submitted by miss emerson from GERMANTOWN MD USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:50:05 2001
wassup aj,
i hope u recover as quickly as possible. it was very brave of you to admit that you had a problem and we all respect that. just remember that someone loves you and GOD will always be there for you. If you ever feel down again, try to think of something that makes you happy or think about what GOD blessed you with. All my prayers are with you. Get well soon. luv,
m.e.
Submitted by Lindsay from Minot ND USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:45:44 2001
A.J. Hey I Am Just Writing To Wish You The Best Of Luck Because You Really Deserve It!! You Can Pull Through This I Know You Can. You Have A Whole Lot Of Fans Out There That Are Supporting You 100%! You Have Some Great Bandmates! I Love You All!!!!
You Are Gonna Come Back Stronger Than Ever!! Don't Listen To The People That Say Bad Things About You. You Did The Right Thing. When I Went To A Backstreet Boys Concert It Was The BEST Day In My Whole Life! I Almost Died When You Came Out You Are So So So Very HOTT!!!!! Well Nick You
Are Hott And I Love You Baby! Howie,Kevin,And Brian I Love You All With My Whole Heart!! AJ I Wish The Best Of Luck To You! I Love You BABY!!!
Love Always
Hugs and Kisses
Lindsay
Submitted by LoLo from Dammam East Kuwait
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:39:51 2001
Dear AJ,
wish u recover as soon as possible coz we really LOVE U & NEED U,I think BSB with out u
wont be any thing..so plzzzzzz plzzzzz take care,
we all waiting 4 u...& hold our breath until u
recover & return 2 ur fans and the people whos really mad about u & care of u...god bless u my little lovely angel(AJ)...4ever
With all my love,
LoLo (from ksa)
Submitted by *~*Christina*~* from anderson Indiana USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:35:34 2001
hey aj i belive that you can make it trough this cause i belive you are a very strong person and your fans love you well can't wait till you get out of rehab you will always be in my prayers and thoughts ok i love you
peace
*~*christina*~*
Submitted by Bethany Mccoy from Brownwood Texas USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:33:19 2001
:)A.J.
Hi.I just wanted to say dont feel bad,just like you my dad had the same problems and is still not over it.And I bet everyone is thinking,"oh,gosh it happend to a BAckstreetBoy?"But everyone needs to know that It can happen to anyone.The reall reason Im writing is to tell you that I know that you are strong and that I know in my heart that you can get though this,that and you have four great other friends that can help you!GET WELL SOON!!WE MISS YOU!!!
Love allwayz,
Bethany McCoy
Submitted by Andrea Mendoza from Caracas Distrito Capital Venezuela
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:30:24 2001
hi a.j:i need to say for you: "i'll be there for you"
i know for what your pass in this moment and i'm want to stay with you in this moment, i want you in my live and i don't wanna lose you because you and the all the group are my reason to live.
you need to your fans because we love you and we don't gonna let you along. so trust in me, in all the fans.
please take care
i don't care how much time you need if you will be ok.
bye. i love you.
no te rindas nunca.
(All caps detected. Message converted to lowercase)
Submitted by Darnell from Ky USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:28:46 2001
Dearest AJ,
Hi baby,When I heard the news about you I was really heart broken. It hurt me deep in my heart to know that you were so unhappy. But I'm so glad the guys told the truth about the situation. AJ this shows that you are truly a wonderful,strong,brave man. I really admire you for that. I'm so glad you decided you want to better yourself. I know it took alot of courage for you to do this. So please get well. My life would never be the same without you. Me and all your other millions of fans need you back on stage. But take all the time you need to get better because your health is really all that matters. You'll always hold a special place in my heart. I'll be praying for you night and day. I wish you nothing but the best and all the happiness in the world. I truly love you from the bottom of my heart and I'll always support you in everything you do. May God Bless you and your family always
Love ya xoxoxoxoxYour Biggest Fan,
Darnell
Submitted by Ashley from East Greenwich RI USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:27:59 2001
Alex-
I'm very proud of you for coming forward. My father is an alcoholic and has yet to seek help. Doing this has just made you more real to me, and it's just made me love and respect you more. Don't think of it as you against the world. It's you, your family, your friends, the rest of the BSB, and your FANS against the world. We love you Alex, and that'll never change. You've been there for us fans, and now, we're banding together and being there for you. I know you can do this, and we're with you every step of the way.
Love always,
Ashley
www.ajcaregivers.cjb.net
Submitted by Joana from Portugal
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:24:33 2001
~A.J.~,I'm "writing" to you once again, 'cause I guess that in the other "letter" I didn't say everything I wanted to.
Even I thought you'll never get to read this, I'm gonna put all my sentiments here.
I really hope you can pass through this, and I hope you become stronger. Remember: You have millions of fantastic friends; since your band mates: Nick, Brian, Kevin and Howie; to all your fans, who are praying for you to get well soon.
Just think that life is made of tests, and this is another one. You had pass through the others, haven't you? So, you'll gonna pass this too!
Remember: "It's not that hard if we start to believe, and we're not gonna take anymore, can we try to erase all the pain, so please... Show me a reason, give me a sign, tell me the way we fall out of line, is it today or is it tonight we'll find, the answer to our life."
GOD is looking for all of us including YOU.
I don't know what you're feelling right now, and I can't imagine. You must have lots of courage to admit your problem and to ask for help.
When we, the FANS, see you on the stage again, you'll be welcome back.
Be strong A.J. , and confort your friends and your mom.
I just wanna say something to the other BACKSTREET BOYS:
BRIAN and KEVIN: I wish lots of happiness and luck to your marriages. I'm waiting for babies!!! ;)
HOWIE: Your sis must be very proud of you. You've made a good work with the Lupus Foundation.
NICK: I saw your tears. Why were you crying? Don't you know that A.J.'s gonna come back stronger than before? You're my shining star. Kisses.
I know all of you are gonna come back stronger and more united than before, like you always do, 'cause you're special. I LOVE YOU GUYS! God bless you all.
BIG kisses and tight hugs,
forever and always yours,
^JOANA^
P.S-> Here in Portugal we all are waiting for your return A.J.!
Cheer up!
KTBSPA!!!
Submitted by Sandy from LA Califorina USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:21:18 2001
AJ,
I want to wish you best of luck on your road to being healthy again. We all miss you and I am hoping that you will still go on the road. I love your voice and I miss u. I know u dont know me but I am a huge fan of yours. I know this is hard. I went thru it a few years ago. I had a big problem and I knew I need help when I was passing out. I hope that didn't happen with you. I know how u must feel bout losing someone close to you. I just lost my mom. I can understand that it is hard. So please execpt my condelse and get well soon. I miss u.
Submitted by erisa marie huffman from wyoming Mi USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:21:16 2001
dear alexander,
i was so happy to hear that you were getting help that you have found your self needing help and getting it so you can be healthy and strong and use your talent to sing. i was very sorry to hear about your problems but i want you to know that you are in my prayers every day actually you all are in my prayers everyday. i love your music and your voice i hope that when you are well you can begin to put your heart into your work and let your fans love you. i respect you all for coming out with the truth. i want you also to know that your problem does not effect any fans thoughts our feelings about you you still are alexander james McLean (aj) a backstreetboy who is still looked at and loved by every bsb fan.
please get well and god bless you
also thank you for giving me and all your fans in the world to hear the sound of your sweet voice.
erisa marie huffman
Submitted by Rossy from Houston Texas USA
Date: Thu Jul 12 17:20:27 2001
A.J., I believe that you will make it and you will survive this. Please get better and I know that you're strong because you knew how to deal with the problem. I am praying for you and I hope you get better soon. Take care.
Love,
Rossy
