Hey to all my fellow BSB fans. I have a wierd story to tell that goes along with my comments about AJ's rehabilitation.
Well, I was on vacation for a couple of weeks in Arizona and California. All during this time, I was not able to watch TRL much or listen to top forty radio stations. We were driving home across country to North Carolina all of this past week, and got home at five in the morning today (Friday). On Tuesday, we stopped at a hotel somewhere out in the middle of the U.S. That night, my sleep was terrible. I had the worst dream, that even woke me up once. Even after going back to sleep, the dream came back. It was about how the guys announced how one of them had a terrible illness (in my dream I think it was something like cancer), and that the rest of the Black & Blue tour was cancelled. After this, it flashed to just hundreds of girls crying, some even falling to their knees. It was pretty horrible. I didn't tell my mom or sister about the dream 'cause I would be a little embarassed.
So the next day we were on the road again, when my aunt called my mom's cell phone. As they were talking, my mom looked surprised. She said "really?! They cancelled the tour?" My heart skipped a beat, I couldn't believe it! Then she went on..."what happened to him?" For a minute my mouth went dry, I'm not kidding.
As soon as my mom hit the "off" button on the phone, I inquired about the Backstreet Boys and what my aunt had been talking about. That's when I found out the news about AJ. It felt as though there were an empty pit in my stomach for hours on end. Of course, all my aunt had seen was the AJ was in rehab and that the rest of the tour was cancelled. She didn't know details.
That whole day, as the road just went on and on, I contemplated on what exactly he was in rehab for and if the tour were completely cancelled. I mean, imagine being out in the middle of the country with no internet to log onto or MTV News to watch and finding out something like this with only vague details!
Of course, my mind kept thinking of the worst possible scenarios. Like AJ was doing serious drugs and he'd be in rehab for months. People would be angry that the tour was cancelled and the media would suck the guys dry for this. I just couldn't help it. I tried to calm myself down but it never worked. I never cried, but a few times it was hard for me to talk about it with my mom...I thought I would choke up.
So finally I decided that I didn't care where we were, I was going to call a friend of mine that was at home in NC. By this time we were in Oklahoma, of all places, and my mom was even encouraging me to call her. So I did and found out what she knew of this whole thing.
Since my mind had racked up all worst case scenarios, I was so relieved to hear that he was "only" in rehab for alcoholism and depression and that it only lasted 30 days. I'm not saying this isn't bad, but it was much better than what my mind had conjured up.
So finally I am home and I've read all possible details about this. I was mildly surprised at AJ's depression and alcoholism. I was so pleased, though, that the guys had been truthful about the situation. I think that it really shows their true colors. They are a great group of guys, that know not to slip things under the rug because a moronic manager tells them to.
I think that in the long run, it was better for them to be flat out honest with the fans, because now we can better understand what has been going on for so long and not hear bits and pieces, and possible lies, that the media would have found out if the whole thing were covered up. If this situation had been hidden from the public, the media would start rumors or find out bits and pieces of info...and eventually make the BSB look worse.
As far as I'm concerened,I am in 100% support of AJ during his hard times. I am so proud of him for realizing his problem and taking care of it. I believe this will make AJ a much stronger, secure person, and make the group as a whole a lot tighter.
For almost six years I've considered the Backstreet Boys an extremely major part of my life. All of their life decisions that they've shared with us have never disappointed me. Even though alcoholism is linked with this situation, I know that this isn't just a case of AJ wanting to drink or anything like that. He has a serious illness and he's dealing with it in a positive way now, and that's all that matters.
To AJ and the rest of the guys: I want you to know that I will always support you and respect you, although I may be a long distance away. I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve as far as you go, because I am proud to be your fan no matter what anyone else has to say about it. You touched my heart long ago and I've yet to let you out of it. I don't have a silly crush on you, I respect your talent and I don't feel I need to justify my reasons to anyone but you.
To my fellow fans: keep the backstreet pride alive. Remember all the times they've helped us, and never to let them down. They've helped us when we've been gloomy and down, they've inspired us to make ourselves better, they've touched us with their lovely music, and have placed a sparkle of excitement in our eyes. If that isn't enough for you to continue to support them, I don't know what else is.
ktbspa and support forever,
Cindy
cindyp86@hotmail.com
