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Submitted by Karina from Mexico
Date: Mon Jul 16 03:16:50 2001
A.J:
Hi Bone!! How are you?
I just want you to know that you should be happy to have fantastic fans like Mexican fans, and you should know that all the mexican BSB fans are thinking on you all the time an we are praying for you, ´cause you are very important to us. You know what? I got to tell you this, one of my friend get mad the other time ´cause we(me and my friends) were saying that we were worried ´bout you and yor healthy, He told us that we were so stupid because we are worried ´bout a gay that we didn´t know and we were more stupid ´cause we spend our time thinking of you when you nevere care about us, But after He told us that i started to think that what he said wasn´t true you care about us when you write a song, when you are on a concert, when you are singing in the studio, I know that you care about us because all that yo are doing is just to make us happy and now it´s our chance to show you that we are glad to have you in this world and I wanna thank you for giving me hapiness when i feel lonely or when i´m tired after school and i hear one of your songs i turn happy instatntly, THANKS GOD FOR GIVE US THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY, ALEXANDER JAMES MC LEAN. I LOVE YOU, ALL THE MEXICAN BSB FANS ARE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED.
Submitted by Veronica Whitney from Cuba NY USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:53:38 2001
~AJ~ We saw BSB in Hershey July 5th but I definitely came to see and hear YOU! It was a night to remember....you sang at the fullness of the moon (it reminded me of the "Everybody" video)HAAH. You all made us forget all our worries that night. You gave of yourself without showing your pain..I felt, as did all; the pain that you and the rest of the guys were experiencing when we heard the news. Your courage has shown that you will overcome and your family, fans and the guys will get you through. We are SO PROUD OF YOU..........this poem I wrote to you: I walk behind these walls of glass, I see a prisoner the same-I too feel your pain as the shards we share are the same..... Love and Prayers, Vica2aj
Submitted by Grace from Hscinchu ROC Taiwan
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:46:16 2001
Dear AJ,
I'm so proud that you were able to admit you have a problem and are man enough to ask for help. I know you're gonna get well, and will go back on stage to kick ass in no time. But, nevertheless, I want you to know that you have all your loving fans behind you, and supporting every decision you will make. Love ya!
Submitted by Emma from Liaoning China
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:43:35 2001
Dear AJ,
I'm proud of you because you can admit your trouble.It's really very great.I love you!!!!!
God bless you!!!You will be well soon.
Submitted by KAITY from ANAHEIM CA USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:43:31 2001
a.j.-
i'm really sorry that you had to go through this depression and loss of your grandmother-i know she meant a great deal to you and just know now that she is watching over you and she probably has a smile on her face cause she's proud of you getting help.and so are all of us (your fans)-we know you'll get through this cause your such a strong individual-so my family and i send our prayers and thoughts with you and your family.a.j.-we all love you and want the best for you-i'm proud of you and i'll always look up to you for what you've done:)you're my hero! get well soon and i'll see you on the road-all my love 4ever-kaity fithian xoxo(All caps detected. Message converted to lowercase)
Submitted by Deborah Li from Singapore Singapore
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:35:02 2001
Dearest AJ, Thank You for admitting your mistake. That took a lot of courage and strength. I pray that you will recover not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually. God has always been there for you. Just call out to Him and he'll give you strength and peace. Take Care. Love,
Deborah
Submitted by NeSSa from SaCRaMeNTo CaLi USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:29:14 2001
...AJ...
I just wanted to tell you that your in my heart and in my prayers. Im sure that everyone cant wait until you get out of rehab to do what you do best; share your love of music with the world. Remember: " Music is love, love is music, music is my life and i love my life."
-AJ McLean
Get well soon!
Your fan, one of many,
..NeSSa..
Submitted by Erica from Rosario Santa Fe Argentina
Date: Mon Jul 16 02:09:21 2001
Dear AJ: I hope your recovery very soon. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THAT!!!!!!!
YOU ARE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!!
ARGENTINA IS PRAYING FOR YOU!!!!!!
AJ IS MUSIC - MUSIC IS AJ - AJ IS MY LIFE AND I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!
I PROUD OF YOU!!!!!
I'LL SEE YOU VERY SOON!!!!!
BE STRONG!!!!!!!
KEEP THE BACKSTREET'S PRIDE ALIVE!!!!!!
Submitted by candida gunsolus from olean ny USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:57:57 2001
dear AJ,
My thoughts and feelings are with you. I have been helping out with teenagers who have had problems relating from arguments with their best friend to thoughts of suicide. Every day there is a new issue but i always tell them to live each day to the fullest and think of each day like it was your last day on earth to do the things that are most importnt to you and not worry about other influences. Within the last two years a lot has changed for me because my parents and i didn't get along i felt that i was alone and i completely hated myself and could do no right. If it wasn't for getting close to these kids and my color guard instructor i'd still be who i was instead of who i am. I guess what i am saying is the support of your close friends and family are the most important thing you don't lose that over a sad moment. You are a charished human being and loved by many people.best wishes in your recovery.
sincerley,
Candida
Submitted by Dawn Kipp from Ancram ny USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:49:11 2001
I don't usually do things like this, but I feel compelled to tell you that I was wrong for what I thought when all this came about. Now, although I am not one of those fans that camp outside your houses or hotel rooms and run out and buy all your albums and freak out when they see you, I do love your music. I also seen your concert in Albany on June 30th and July 1st and I absolutely loved it. Well, anyway, what I wanted to tell you is that when I heard you were being treated for clinical depression I thought "what could he possibly have to be depressed about?". I thought if he wanted to see depression, he should walk a day in a real persons shoes, like mine. I have felt bad about saying that ever since. It's hard to see famous people, like you, be affected by something like depression. I think, to us, you are supposed to be invincible which is stupid to believe. After all you are just like us, you bleed when you are cut, you laugh when you are happy,you cry when you are sad. I think, with the weight you carry on your shoulders, you deserve just as much of our sympathy and prayers, if not more, than anyone else. I am sorry I opened my big mouth before thinking. I wish you, your family, and your friends all the best. I hope you get better and go back to making all the young girls crazy, and with the respect I now have for you and your situation, you make even make me go a little crazy! Just don't tell my husband! LOL! I thought you could use a little laugh!
Love Always,
Dawn
Submitted by Luiza from Rio de Janeiro RJ Brazil
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:38:46 2001
**AJ**Resist
Resist a little more, even if the wounds throb and that his courage is napping.
Resist one more minute and it will be easy to resist to the others. Resist one more instant, even if the defeat is a magnet, even if the disillusion walks in his direction. Resist a little more, even if the envious ones say for you to stop, even if his hope is in CTI Resists one more moment, even if you still cannot sight the arrival line, even if the insecurities play from wheel to his turn. Resist a more little bit, even if his life is being weighed like the conscience of the senseless ones and you if it feels defenseless as a bird of wings broken. Resist, because the last instant of the dawn is always that that pulls the morning for the arm and that morning beautiful, sunny, without handcuffs, he will be born for you soon, since you resist. Resist, because we are seating in the bleachers of the time, twisting anxious for you to resist and win of God the trophy that you deserve: Hapinness!
Exist some miracle in the world that she can compare with the a(o discovery) friend, or with the than (e fact) friend to discover us? Excuse me the mistakes! My english is bad!
I love you so much AJ!!!
Get better soon!
Luiza - Brazil
Submitted by Aniecie Nichole Casey from Pine (small town) Arizona USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:38:07 2001
A.J.
Hey baby. How are you doing? Stupid question! Don't know if you've heard... but I just got out of rehab 2 weeks ago, yesterday. At first it didn't help at all, I'm just so damn stubborn. "Drinking makes me happy..." Eh-huh! Then I find out the next day everyone hates me because I was such a flipping asshole! Well, when I found out about this I decided maybe I really should stop. Tis happened to someone so important to me and to someone I care so much about (you, DUH!) and he realized what he was doing was bad for him, maybe it's bad for me too. I got the help already, but I just wasn't willing to give it up. I was so addicted to drinking. I went to AA meetings... at 15 years old! Now I realize the only reason I did was so I could feel like an adult being in a room with 30 other people, 29 of them in their 30's and 40's and one other being 15 besides me. I just wanted to show off and tell people at school that I was "going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings." Hmmm... ANONYMOUS, huh? Not to me. And on the day I found out on TRL I woke up and decided to stop. For me, it was obviously not for anyone else because when I went to a party 2 nights later and said I wasn't going to drink I got trashed. "What are you gonna start thumping bibles now, Niece?" "Goody-Good little Niecie turning on us!" ETCETRA. A few people stood by me. It means alot to me that YOU, of all people, are going through this. It helped me sooo much. And now I only wish I could physically do something to help you. I'm glad you went head-first into this. You show soooo much courage and integrity.... and balls of steel, if you will... I personally want to thnk you, because it just would not have happened for me if it didn't happen to you. nothing in the world would make me want you to have to go through all this but since you are, I might as well stand up with you and hold your hand and continue life the way it once was. Thank ya babe.
I love you to pieces! Stay strong for long, never look backto what you lacked, and be the best to pass the test!
Aniecie Nichole Casey
Submitted by makarena kröger from Santiago región metropolitana Chile
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:34:22 2001
I know is hard, but we'll try to make this way a little bit better...we'll try to light your way even if we're in the darkness too.... i love you...
You have a hole life to live and nobody can do it 4 you,so you can’t let your life go away, you can’t let you go...you can’t take aj mclean away from us, ‘cause i don’t think that we deserve it, least the other boys...and you...c’mon babe, in this hard way, to left it behind, we want to help, so let us bring you alll we can : our love and support...this isn’t gonna end with the end of the reabilitation: it will be something wich you’ll have to fight 4 the rest of your life, but if ever you loose the strength or the hopes, if you need a reason look at our faces when we’re dreaming of you...look what you’ve been trhough, look at the boys and i’m sure that in your mother’s eyes you’ll find so many answers...
Baby your grandma would’t want see you loose yourself and left the world behind...i’m sure that she want you to live your life 4 both of you...do it 4 her...make her happy again even if she is so far away, never doubt that she'll be smiling at you when you're fine...
You have been my dream come true since so long, you have been my reason, my answer, my joy and happiness, you have been my love, my strength...now let my try to give you a little bit of them, ‘cause when the hopes fade out and you’re life seem to have no sense is when you loose the control, when you let that something like the alcohol take the control of your life, but you can be strong enough to fight.
As a fan i have to wish you the best and hope that you’ll better...but as somebody human, as who i am i want to do it, i just can pray and think, i just can keep tha hopes, the stregnth and the light alive ‘cause that’s the only thing that i can bring you in you ever decide to turn to me and i’d give you all.... i would give you my hole life to start again and i would tell you so many things but i know that words can’t help right now... you know that you could ask me anything and i’d try my best to do it...whatever you please i’m here to make it real...so now let me beg you something: COME BACK!!!..take concience of you fan’s, brian, nick,kev and howie’s and your mother’s feelings... and please make all of us smile again...your grandma included... let your pain go with your grandma’s soul and replace it with faith...
You know something? I really don’t know what makes you go through this way, maybe isn’t my bussines or is something that i can’t understand...but if you want someone to trust, if you need to talk, cry or laugh i’m sure that i’ll be still here...and as me so many girls...you know it...
Being your fan since 1996 I’ve living during almost 5 years waking up with your face on my mind, i’ve been fall sleep praying 4 your 5 boy’s happiness (that is what matters) and beggin’ God 4 chance to get to know ya and hold you at the end...and i don’t think that might be spupid, crazy or unbelievable that at my almost 16 years (the next july 17th i’ll be 16) 1 of my biggest dreams can be just touch you at least a hand and can say “i love u” looking you at the eyes ...and i wondered so many times if it gonna happen and the posibility that maybe it’ll be just a dream 4ever truly frightened me... and so many nights i wondered how weird is that feeling...i think that if you’ve never felt it you can’t understand me...maybe you feel the same 4 your fans... i wondered of how can i love someone who i really don’t know, someone that’ll never look at me as a woman, someone that i’d only touched in my best dreams..’cause the closer that i’ve been from U was when you came to the “Festival de Viña del Mar” on february 14th 1998, and saw you performing is something that i’ll never forget...your passion, your energy..4 one night i could imagine that you were tellin’ all those things just 2 me...and the tears that i cried tha night were the purest, the deepest... those tears came from my heart, graceful after listened 2 U... thanking God for this life... you’re big, babe, just ‘cause you change my life, ‘cause you were all 4 me when i was down, ‘cause you made me complete, you teach me to love and care 4 someone else but me...THANK U...
A long letter and i haven’t tell you all that in my heart...but it takes so many words and i can’t pretend stole your time that way... here from Chile, in the end of the world somebody loves you and need you in so many ways... my english isn’t the best, maybe send you a message everyday, write you letters can’t help you, ‘cause you need facts more than words...but i’ll hope that my prays can help you, that all what i feel can do something...that my faith in you, babe can make you smile just 4 a second... and as you voice performing no 1 else comes close 2 you fades out, i let you... i go, but i’m here..ya know Bone... i’m waiting 4 you coming back stronger and anew but being the same...yours, makarena...a girl who like to help in some way...a fan first of all...
Submitted by A.J.'s gurl from simi valley california USA
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:31:08 2001
Dear A.J., I just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. When, I first heard about your story I was so sad that you were going through such a hard time. I know that you are loved and extremely missed by your fans. I know that everyone is hoping for your well-being and can't wait for you to get better. I hope you know that we miss you dearly (especially me) and love you to death. I know that the rest of the group are also praying for you and so my heart goes out to them and your mom as well. Although your probably not going to read this I just had to express my love for you and the rest of the group. I hope for nothing but the best to and for you,Aj. I hope you know that what you did in many ways was admired and also helped several teens and adults face their problems.And for that I look up to you.
With love and respect,
your #1 fan
Submitted by Jessica from Montreal Canada
Date: Mon Jul 16 01:27:46 2001
My dearest A.J.,
It made me very sad to learn that you are in pain. I wish I could take your pain away and give you all the happiness in the world but you are the only person that can do that and you took the first step. I'm so proud of you. You are so brave for admitting your problem and wanting to fix it. You and the rest of the fellows have been there for all of your fans through out the years and now it's time for all of us to be there for you. Just remember that you are surrounded by so many people that love you and want the best for you. We love you so much A.J. and support you till the end.
Get better for yourself not for anyone else. All the fans love the person you have become.Love ya very much and can't wait to see you doing what you do best. JESSICA
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