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Submitted by Cindy Bobbitt from Thomasville North Carolina USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 20:24:00 2001
AJ,
I hope things are going well for you in rehab. You have been in my thoughts and prayers even before going into rehab. I am so proud of what you are doing. It really took a lot of courage to admit to your problems and seek help. I wish I could talk with you in person to share my praise of you. After hearing of what happened, many people at work who know I am a huge BSB fan came to me about the news. I commented on the fact that I am a bigger fan now, and that I was extremely proud of your admittance. If you would like to talk, you can e-mail me at Cbbobbit@cs.com or Cbobbitt@jowat.com or you can contact me at home (336)472-2865 or on my private line at work (336)434-9025. Again, thanks for giving me the enjoyment of entertainment for the past several years. Good luck and I hope things go well for you. Take care of yourself and God Bless You. I love you, as well as the rest of the BSB fan crew.
Love Always,
Cindy Bobbitt
Submitted by Simar Noeli Ocando Sanchez from Maracaibo Zulia Venezuela
Date: Wed Jul 18 19:54:47 2001
Dear Alex, I'm so glad to hear you are getting better. You are always in my prays, and since here I really hope you'll read all these messages, so you'll know how important you are for each person that wrote you during this time that have been so hard for you. Kepp going fine with your rehab, I need to see you happy like always, I need to see the best smile you can give me, and I know you will very soon.
My best wishes and all my support for you baby.
Simar.
Submitted by Hayley from Powhatan Virginia USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 19:21:54 2001
Hey A.J.!! I pray for you each and every day because I'm glad you're getting the help you need. A lot of people don't recognize that they have a problem, and you did. That is so cool of you. I've been a fan of you and the boys for 3 years now, and even though other fans have been one much longer, ya'll have still changed my life in a huge way. 3 years ago, I had given up all hope. I was going through major family problems and I was having to deal with going a place where I didn't wanna go. I had to deal with each and everyday having a fight been heard since 9 years ago up till now. It's finally stopped, and it's been a relief.Also, in a way it hasn't. I still will most likely have to be torn away from one of the most important things in my life...my mom. I don't wanna go somewhere that I'll never be happy, though ya'll would be the only thing that would make everything better each day. I have a feeling that it will be completely over, and I'm glad. But, I've been under so much stress over the years, I always wanna give up on life, but then I listen to your voice, your music,...you. Your confidence in yourself has given me so much to know that I shouldn't give up. You and the rest of the Backstreet Boys have changed my life in a way I never knew was humanly possible because I never did think once that I would get the help that I needed to get through all the really rough times. I'm only 14, but I've felt like I've been through much more years. I know all of you are normal just like everyone else and that makes it even more special to me. I want you to get through this so bad and I know you will, because you're strong. I can't wait to see you back and better than ever. Because you have given me strength to go on, so I wanted to give you strength to go on. There's so much I could share, but I don't know if I could put all of it into words. My prayers and thoughts are with you always, Luv Ya!!! =)
~Hayley Darwin~
Submitted by Heather from CA USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 18:34:42 2001
AJ ~ I love you and respect the fact that you asked for help. My thoughts are with you everyday...I know you will make an outstanding recovery. All your fans love you and the Backstreet Boys very much and don't want to see anything happen to you. I wish you the best with your recovery and can't wait to see you August 13th being the lively and entergetic AJ we all know you are. I love you!
Submitted by Lizzie from Carson Washington USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 18:16:00 2001
AJ,
You are SO awesome and i respect you so much for seeking help! i know that you can get through this and that the Backstreet Boys will live on! i am ready to see ya in Portland on the 10th of August well and sober! I am praying for ya everyday and i know you can do it! Love ya man!
Submitted by Lori Abbott from Sparta Wisconsin USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 17:12:15 2001
Alex,I am a manic depressive, so I know what your going through. Last year in January, my mother passed away. It was one of the most difficult moments of my life. I am also a victim/survivor of domestic violence and a single mom. My father died when I was nine years old, and my extended family is not the greatest, so in a way I'm an only child too. My prayers and thoughts are with you as you cope with your depression, drinking problem and the sad news of your grandparent passing away. My kids and I have been fans of the BSB for quite a while, and we know that you will get through this very difficult and trying time. Amanda, your girlfriend, and Denise, your mom, will be very instrumental in getting you past all this. As well, as Kevin, Nick, Howie and Brian. Most of all, rely on God. He'll get you through it. Have faith. I realize that in this business you don't know who to trust, because there are so many people to mistrust, but you can trust me and my family. If you ever need anyone to talk to about your depression, I'm only an email away. Take Care, Lori
Submitted by Lindsay from Vancouver BC Canada
Date: Wed Jul 18 16:59:08 2001
A.J. ---
I Love you and I'm proud of you! :) My thoughts and prayers are with you daily. I can't wait to see you August 7th...then you'll know how much your fans love you!
BSB FOREVER! :)
Submitted by GENNIS from CALI USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 16:49:40 2001
hey a.j well as every one knows you have benn going through something. you know your grandmother would not want to see her baby like this . i dont wont to see you like this cause you are better than that and i know that for a fact. you know your fan are always here for you and will be by you side for every well i know i will. i pray for u and the rest of the guys every night i just dont wont nothing happening to you cause i truly do love you and the rest of the boys.well here is a poem i wrote for you and the boys. its call this thing call love by gennis johnson
you know when it happens, you know when it's right your breath stops in an insant, and your heart takes flights there is no one description, to tell how you feel. the only things you can think of, is the fact that it's real. it makes you feel, like nothing else,you no longer think of yourselfit's the one thig in life you're been waiting for.with the warmest touch, you yearn for more it's somthing special, something so grand. somthing that gives, without a demand. you wish upon the stars at night .for the feeling you have, to reach great heights when you give and receive this specail gift you'll get down on your knees and thank the heavens above for you have discovered this thing called "love". aj i hope no i know you will pull through this . as long as you have god on you side anthing is possibe i love you aj your truly your #1 fav gennis johnson(All caps detected. Message converted to lowercase)
Submitted by AMELIA MARTINEZ from PORT LAVACA TEXAS USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 16:39:39 2001
my thoughts and my prayers are with you and the guys.i know you will get well soon.you have lots of people that love you. may god bless you and the guys.(All caps detected. Message converted to lowercase)
Submitted by Angel Paro from Anniston Al. USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 16:36:39 2001
A.j., I'm so proud of you for taking that first step: Admitting you had a problem and seeking help. I wasn't really sad when I heard you were going into rehab just relieved. I was relieved because I already knew something wasn't right. I could tell by your body language on T.V. You always seemed sad, detached, and like you didn't really want to be there. I had no idea about the alcohol though and I was upset about that. Now I'm just glad you're getting help. I submitted a letter I wrote to the whole band to Fans Illustrated and they are going to put it in the book! Now you can see how much you mean to me:) Please read it. Love, Angel P.
Submitted by Paula A.P. from Coconut Creek FL USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 16:21:02 2001
Hey Alexander, Well if you do ever get to read these messages from your fans then I'd like to spare your eyes and write a short but meaningful message. You know we all are pulling for you, but I'd like you to know that you will be in my families prayers till you are 100 and 10%! Keep believin in yourself if you stop then there's really no one who can help you, and just remember you can always turn to chocolate when your sad, it'll make you all sweet inside, take care:)
Paula, South Florida
Submitted by Kerrie from Aiken South Carolina USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 16:19:16 2001
*warning: this is gonna be long, but i'ma make it as short as I can.
~*~AJ~*~, I just wanted to let u, and the rest of the Backstreet boys know how much I admire and respect u're decision to tell the truth about u going into rehab, instead of doing the easy thing and just lying about it... you guys showed real courage and responsibility by telling the truth. Guys, i know u have millions of fans out there who look up to u and think u're perfect, when the truth is, u're only human and there r gonna be times when u stumble and fall, but having that limelight on u all the time probably makes it 10 times harder for u to get up than normal people who aren't famous. so AJ, i hope this makes it a lil easier for u to get up. Here's an exert from a book that I was reading the day I found out about u going into rehab. (it's from 1 of those chicken soup for the soul books)
For You Dad"Here we go!" Dad would say, and I'd climb on his back. "There! Look! See London Bridge?" Lying on the floor w/ his arms outstretched, he was my Superman and together we were weaving our way around make-believe clouds. But like those clouds, my moments w/ Dad always vanished too quickly--b/c there was something stronger than love in Daddy's life, something that was stealing him away. It was an enemy I would end up fighting when he no longer could....
"He's sick," my mom would say when Dad passed out. "It doesn't mean that he doesn't love u."
I knew he did. He could make us laugh w/ his funny faces & cartoon drawings. I loved him, & I wanted to believe Mom still did, too. As my lil brothers & I grew, she explained Dad hadn't always been "this way." He was just a lil wild when they'd met in high school. & w/ his wavy hair and wide smile, I could understand how he'd captured Mom's heart.
But soon he must have been breaking it. Sometimes we didn't see him for weeks. 1 day, he called to say he wasn't coming home again. "I'm not far. We'll see each other on weekends," he said after he'd moved out. "I'll swing by & get u Sat."
"Mom," I called out. "Can we go w/ Daddy?" Grabbing the phone, Mom said,"No, John, u have to visit them at the house. U know I won't let them get into a car w/ u."
I thought of the commercials I saw on TV--the ones w/ the twisted metal & chalk outlines. & the words Drunk Driving Kills. Could that happen to dad? Please God, I'd pray at night, help Dad get well. But too often, when he pulled into the driveway, we could smell the booze.
"Daddy, don't drive like that," I'd plead. Usually, he tried to shrug off my worries, but once he pulled me close, his eyes heavy w/ sadness. "I wish I wasn't like this," he said. "I wish I was a good dad."
I wish that too. I hated alcohol for what it had done--to all of us.
At 1st, I was too embarrassed to tell my friends the truth about my dad. But as I started to see kids drinking, I couldn't hold back. "That's why my dad isn't around," I'd say, pointing at the bottles.
All dad's visits were brief. In between hugs & kisses, he drew pics for us, & we crammed in stories about school and friends. "I'm getting help," he'd say. Maybe my bros, Justin and Jordan, believed it--but I didn't. & yet w/ all my heart, I wanted to believe. I can still feel the rocking of the porch swing & my father's arms around my shoulder.
"The day u turn 16," he once said,"I'm going to buy u a car." I nuzzled closer to him. I knew he'd give me the world if he could. But I understood that no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't.
Then 1 night during my senior year of high school, I got a call at the store where I worked part-time. "Heather?" Mom's voice was strained. I knew what was coming. "There's been an accident."
I raced to the hospital; Dad's motorcycle had hit a minivan. Blood tests showed that he'd been drinking and doing drugs that night. The other driver was fine, thank God.
"I love u, Daddy," I sobbed, sitting by his bed.
Though he was unconscious, his heart monitor quickened at the sound of my voice. He had found a way to let me know he'd heard me, & that he loved me. But there was something I had to make sure that he knew.
"I forgive u," I choked. "I know u did u're best." Moments later, he was gone. An accident killed my father,but his death wasn't sudden.
Everyone told me I needed to grieve, & for a while, I did. But in a sense, I'd been grieving for Dad all my life. Now I needed to do something that would help me feel less powerful against the enemy that had stolen him.
I went to the library to find what I could on substance abuse. Almost Every Family is Affected...Children may Repeat the Patterns, I read. My heart broke even more. My father's life hadn't amounted to very much. Maybe his death could.
That afternoon, I picked up the phone & called the area schools. "I'd like to talk about subs. abuse," I began. "I've lived w/ it in my own family, so I think I can help."
Before I knew it, I was standing before a sea of young faces ready to speak, in a presentation called "Drug-Free Me."
"People who do drugs & alcohol aren't bad," I began. "They've just made the wrong choice." Then I asked the kids to draw pics of what they wanted to be. They drew firemen & doctors & astronauts.
"See all those pretty dreams? They can never come true if u turn to drugs & alcohol." Their eyes grew wide. I'm reaching them, I thought. But I knew it wasn't that simple--I'd have to keep trying every day if I really wanted to make a difference.
Since then, I've used cartoon characters to get the message to younger kids. I've organized a tuxedo-stuffing program, sticking statistics on drunk driving into pockets of prom-goers. & I've joined Mothers Against Drunk Driving & the National Commission on Drunk Driving.
Today, as a college junior, I do presentations at middle & high schools. I also speak at victim-impact panels, sharing stories of loss w/ people convicted of driving under the influence. Most people on the panel have lost loved ones to people like my father. But I was a victim, too, & maybe my story hits harder.
"It's hard to think of a faceless stranger out there u may kill," I tell the offenders. "So think about the people u r hurting now--like a child at home who will miss u forever if u die."
I'd been missing my father long before he was taken for good. I remember once he said that we, his children, were the only things he'd ever done right in his life. Daddy, b/c of u, I'm doing something very right in mine. Heather Metzgen AJ,
I know that u're problem w/ alcohol is not even close to being as bad as the father's in this story was, but I just wanted to let u know that I'm really glad that u decided to ask for help. It takes a strong person to admit that he's got a weakness and ask for help. AJ, the human spirit is a beautiful thing b/c it's stronger than anything that happens to it. Life is a gift, even through pain and complexity, u can still accomplish all of u're goals if u never give up.
Aj, I've learned a couple of things about life... 1.) it goes on and 2.) you should never regret who u are or where u come from, only what u have become. AJ, I know that u can get through this rough time in u're life b/c u've done it before. I know u've probably got plenty of dreams left to fulfill so don't let this lil stumble stop u from achieving the rest of u're goals. I know I don't know u personally, but from what I can see, u're a wonderful person....u have a great sense of humor, u were blessed w/ probably one of the most beautiful voices I've every heard in my life, u definitely have u're own unique sense of fashion cause u can rock anything and make it look good, and lets just face it AJ, u're gorgeous! u've given me so many things through u're music and devotion to u're fans, I just figured it was time I give something back to u. I hope this helps a lil. Get well soon!
Luv,
Kerrie P.S. There are few real angels in this world, but there are even fewer real devils.
Submitted by Oshrat from Israel
Date: Wed Jul 18 15:51:16 2001
Dear AJ!
I don't know if you will ever read this but even if you don't, know that all your fans love you very much and wish you all the best. Get well soon and feel better. I hope you will smail again soon :)
Love you! Oshrat from Israel (when will the bsb finelly come to my small but nice country?!)
Submitted by Stephanie N. from MLT WA USA
Date: Wed Jul 18 15:34:00 2001
Alexander James McLean,
Babe, I'm holding on for you...Im not sure if you will ever read this but all your fans LOVE you. Hearing about all of this has made me re-think some of my actions...AJ, because of you I am getting help for depression and anixety. I wasn't really concerned untill I saw TRL. I saw the look on those four guys' faces...I saw the love they have for you and I realized...they didn't care if they wern't on tour...they care about Y-O-U. YOU. As does all of your fans.Your the reason I am getting help. You inspired me to have courage and pull through. You made me realize all the people that really love me too. Now it's your turn. Baby, you are number one in this battle. You ARE strong enough to pull through I KNOW IT.
TRL, the normal crazy, cheering, feeling and energy that is normally there suddenly became so serious that Monday. I don't normally get to watch it but I happened to see a picture of the group. I stopped and heard something I thought I'd never hear. I found out that the man that I felt is flawless, IS in fact human! It sounds really werid but I see you guys and your so perfect...but really YOU ARE human...and you do have hard-ships in your life. Seeing Kevin talk about this and start to tear-up caused me to cry. I saw the look in Nick's eyes...He wouldn't even talk! Howie, the normally wink-crazy sweet D...his voice...the passion he has for his best friend...it's unbelieveable. Brian was just frozen. There was no life in his eyes. In anyone's. They were all so upset. They care about you MORE than anyone could ever know. They will always care about you. WE ALL WILL.
So, AJ when your feeling down and you don't think you matter....well, YOU DO. To me, to your family, your friends...and those four Brothers that will love you 'till the end and beyond. We all love you if you know it or not...and I think...maybe...just maybe you do. My Best Wishes,
Stephanie Ps. I'll pull through if you do! I can't wait fo see you August 9th at the Tacoma Dome!!!
If you are not better by then....STAY HOME!
GET WELL!!!!!
Submitted by Glennie from Silkeborg Denmark Denmark
Date: Wed Jul 18 15:23:01 2001
I would like to whis the best for the backstreet boys and i know that Aj is going to be just fin.
We all know that he is who he is, are strong gay! but we all pray for you, day and nigh and nobody can rest in peace til we know that he is alright. so the best of luck and love from me.
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